“Pray t0 god” by tiLLie exposes the duality between healing the lasting effect of abuse experienced at the hands of an abuser. tiLLie explains that “Pray t0 god” is about an abusive figure in her family that she was eventually able to free herself from. This is evident in lyrics like “eight years and seven days, since I severed your chains, made my escape,” which depict her ability to create space between her and the abuser despite her family still being trapped. There is relief that you are physically free, but mentally, you know the healing journey is an ongoing battle and it’s hard to truly commit to that when the abuser is still affecting your life in one way or another. tiLLie sings “Brick by brick, I built a castle, found a prince, a golden apple, but in the weeds, there lived an asshole, in between me and happily ever after,” showing that although she’s embracing her empowered era, there are still emotions there that resurface, reminding her of the trapped feeling associated with the abuse endured.
“Pray t0 god” begins with the classic storybook opening and a brief narration from tiLLie that places you in a dreamy fairytale setting. The beat transforms as the song opens exposing the nightmare within the dream. It’s a clean cohesive mix between electronic pop and rock that plays heavily on fantasy-esque sounds, earning the title tiLLie has named nightmare pop. Despite the clean simplicity of the beat everything from the harshness of the bass, drums, and guitar to the small insets of lighter quirkier sounds builds directly off of the lyrics to convey the emotional intent of the song. tiLLie explains that “’Pray t0 god depicts’ the emotional duality of feeling prisoner to the effects of her abuser while simultaneously trying to embrace this healthy, empowered era in my healing journey,” and the beat depicts this uphill battle of constantly flipping back and forth between wanting to be the move on and be the bigger person but also wanting this abuser to feel the pain they’ve caused. There is rage there but there is also an undeniable boundary that states “You won’t make me cry” giving the rage conveyed through the music an empowered stance.
As a young teen, tiLLie began her music journey playing basement shows with her punk band in Atlanta. In 2016 Machine Gun Kelly asked her to collaborate on a cover of Foo Fighters’ hit “Everlong” after watching her perform live in Los Angeles. During that performance, tiLLie also gained the interest of Vans Warped Tour founder Kevin Lyman, who invited her to join the 2017 lineup of Warped Tour Newcomers You Need to Know Before This Summer. She has also worked with Bishop Briggs and has received editorial support from Alternative Press, Fader, and Spin Magazine to name a few. Since tiLLie decided to move to Los Angeles in pursuit of her musical career she has released four EPs and several singles including “Flip a Switch” in 2021 which was selected as “Tune of the Week” by BBC Radio 1’s Future Artists program. Her music is a cohesive blend of pop and nu-metal in what the singer/songwriter has affectionately called “nightmare pop”. It’s reminiscent of No Doubt’s Gwen Stefani during her L.A.M.B days but with far more bass, feminine rage, and a touch of fairytale magic. Listen to her latest EP featuring “Pray t0 god” and “jeLLiefish aPocaLypsE” and more at the links below.
Written By Joselyn Jimenez
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