Mykyl just released his most vulnerable song to date. “Honest with Myself” is about his struggle with depression and self-doubt. He really captures what it feels like to live with depression. Media portrayal almost romanticizes depression as just being sad and crying when life get hard. Mykyl shows the brutal reality of depression. The song begins with him questioning if it is the morning or afternoon, that the light is blinding, and the sunshine feels foreign. Depression is staying in bed until 3pm because he does not feel well enough to get up. Depression is feeling broken because he used to feel alive, but now he feels numb. Depression is not sadness and tears; It is feeling empty and numb. Mykyl would rather feel anger or sadness, because at least he would be feeling something. He spends the song questioning if he is honest with himself because he has been denying his depression. This is a feeling that many listeners are able to relate to.
The gut-wrenching ballad pulls on the heartstrings of the listener. Even if you do not struggle with depression, you cannot help but feel the grief Mykyl is feeling. The bridge is the climax of the song, showing the internal battle he is having with himself and those he loves. He sings the lyrics that he does not want pity or love and that he just wants to be alone. He sings these lyrics in such a way that it feels like he is trying to convince himself of this, not his loved one. At the end of the bridge, Mykyl then belts out “don’t you dare leave me alone”, despite spending the last thirty seconds saying he wants to be left alone. He needs to be honest with himself that he does need the support and love, and that he cannot handle this on his own. The entire song builds up to this moment. That being honest with himself is admitting he needs help. He understands now that he is hurting, he is lost, and things are not making sense now, but he needs to have faith that one day, he will no longer feel broken.
Michael Van Wagoner, better known Mykyl, is an American pop singer from Salt Lake City, Utah. He has multiple singles available to stream on Spotify and Apple Music. His two latest singles, “Honest with Myself” and “Broken” are the first two songs released from his upcoming EP, “hopeisnowhere”. He writes music that resonates with his listeners. He is open and honest about depression and anxiety, and is an active advocate for mental health. The messages in his lyrics help fans feel less alone in their own struggles. His sound is influenced by a large range of music, including top 40s pop to pop punk.
Written By Karlee Smith