This song is more than meets the eye, particularly, the title. “Julian” isn’t the noun that a first-time listener would think that it is. Apparently, “Julian” isn’t the name of a person, but, rather, a place. “Julian” is a town in California that the narrator goes to with their loved one. “I wanna take pictures of us.” Dawn sings of wanting to capture a moment and almost freeze it in time. Pictures are that reminder of special moments; it extends the moments for years and years and makes you feel the same way you felt when you took the picture. Even more than that, though, this song is discussing people’s perceptions of you. When you begin a relationship you open yourself up to someone else taking a deep dive into you and your aura- that can be especially daunting.
“So I question shit when it feels right.” I’m sure we can all relate to this lyric. The pessimist in us all is always suspicious when things are going well, as if we’re waiting for the ball to drop, for something to go wrong because that’s what we, unfortunately, consider the norm. “About the song, Estella shares, "‘Julian’ is about those moments of doubt and introspection in a relationship—the push and pull between wanting to be close to someone but also fearing the vulnerability that comes with it." Dawn’s tone is rich and commanding and the guitar is the most prominent instrument in the song, which has a raw unplugged feel to it. This style definitely matches the overall feel of the song which is that of stripping off the layers and baring one’s self and soul to someone and processing how it feels to have the same thing be done for you. Love is such a complex action and feeling, there’s no surefire or only one way to express that and Dawn does a fantastic job of conveying the highs as well as the lows and everything in between. “I’m scared that if you see me in color, I won’t be as pretty as you thought.” is a rather beautiful way to express being afraid of vulnerability and wondering if people will accept you for who you truly are, not who they may perceive you as or want you to be, but who you really, truly are, if you choose to show them. Love is a choice, we choose to love others, to open our hearts to them, to show them every part of us, even the not-so-like-able parts. And that’s a rather important thing to do, after all, we’re all only human, we’re not perfect. This song is a wake up call to embrace vulnerability, this song is a punch in the gut when in the current thick of being so in love that you can’t even think clearly and you’re obsessed with this other person; this song is truth serum for those of us who struggle with insecurities and wondering if anyone will love us without the “mask” on, wondering if we’ll ever find our people that will accept every molecule of our being. This song has so many meanings, Dawn’s voice is the perfect blend of vulnerability but also a quiet confidence in one’s self and surrendering to the possibility of being rejected, all in the name of love. “Could you please stay in focus?” is the message the listener is left to ponder on as the song ends. Dawn is still showing that vulnerable side of wanting that person to stay the way they are and not to “switch” up because that would affect what they have. Dawn is expressing the pessimism we all fall privy to, not trusting that someone will stay in the first place or that, when they stay, they’ll remain the same person we were introduced to at the beginning of the relationship. Dawn's stance in this song is, in my opinion, the best balance of optimism and pessimism. As if to say - yes, yes I do feel all of these things and this could end very badly, but this love, this love is worth it, whatever the outcome may be, I'll drive head first into this abyss.
Although Dawn is currently based in San Diego, she is a kiwi by nature as she was born in New Zealand. Dawn, an independent artist, is a multi-instrumentalist, producer, singer, and songwriter with an online presence that is seen and followed by hundreds of thousands of people. Estella’s musical style is that of indie pop. With songs like “Julian”, Dawn is able to utilize all of her talent as an artist, multi-instrumentalist, producer and human to craft this honest, heartwarming, deep dive into the human psyche and heart. Ms. Dawn, I am sat and waiting for more music. If you, too, are a new fan and wish to stay connected to all things Estella Dawn and to stream “Julian” as much as you’d like, follow her on all of her socials below!
Written By Keiunna Thompson
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